How sexy am I now?

My boss just got fired for sexual harassment and hostile work environment. Guess who he was doing it to.......... Yep. Me.

Anyone see Natural Born Killers? Remember the scene where she's dancing in the cafe to the music on the juke box and that sleaze starts hitting on her and she kicks the crap out of him? "How sexy am I now, Fucker!?!?!"

6 months???? You gotta be shittin' me. I'm such a loser.

Hey!!!!!

I know.... Where the hell have I been and what the hell has been happening....

Damn, I have a lot to catch up on. I will post details later on but here's the extremely short version. I have several prospects in the men department and one that I've been seeing on a pretty regular basis over the last few weeks. My ex is still living in about 4 hours away from me. I have a new job that I like very much but it's incredibly stressful and I work WAY more hours per week than any human should so I'm considering going back to work for the state. My daughter was expelled from school for a semester for having a pocket knife. Hmmm.... what else????

Lemme think on it.

I need that transition guy, NOW please

I woke up today so incredibly frickin' horny. What does it mean when you have a dream about taking advantage of yourself? New one for me.

I'M BACK. At least for today, who knows about tomorrow

I am SOOOOOO sorry I have been gone so long. It's been over a month. I can't even hardly believe that shit.

Not much has been going on but I feel like such a different person now that I guess you could say I was finding myself again. When someone you are with and their life issues has such an impact on yours, it's hard to know what to do with yourself when they aren't around anymore. I was worried about who I became and if I could ever get back to being who I was. I found out a few things.

When I'm hurting inside, I put a huge wall around myself and I let no one get past it. I guess there's obvious reasons for that but I didn't realize how much it changed my personality and my interactions with people. I've done a lot to fix that in the last month and a half.

I made a new friend from that new job I started. Neither her or I are working there anymore but I like her a lot and we are keeping in touch. She's my newest buddy. The weird thing is that we worked at my last employer together too for years and never knew each other. We have a lot in common, actually. She's good for me because she's a lot like me and it makes me feel OK to be myself.

I realized that when I was lonely, I would think about my X and kind of miss him and that I needed to get over that. I decided that I need a transition man. You know, the throw away relationship that never goes anywhere but gets you over the last guy. So, I signed up on one of those internet dating site things and have been having a fucking blast! I'm getting like 30 responses a day from men and I can email back and forth with them within the site so it's totally safe until you decide to call or IM each other. This one guy and I got really attached to each other really quickly and have been IMing with each other for hours every day and then finally talking on the phone. We met in person on Friday though and I don't think we're each other's type. We both had really high hopes about it because we talk really well together and I was really bummed out about it over the last couple days until I realized something..... I haven't even thought about my X once in the last week! Asshole who??? FUCK YEAH!!! That's what I'm talking about. Anyway, I probably made a friend for life out of the deal and maybe I'll fix him up with a friend of mine or something. Who knows.

As for me, today I got back on the dating site and I'm ready to meet the next guy. It's great for my ego too 'cus they all tell me I'm hot and have gorgeous eyes and beautiful hair and should be a model and stuff. I'm freaking eating that shit up! I wish I was shorter though (I'm 5'8") or there were a lot more tall men around because my height requirement is disqualifying a lot of them. I like to wear heels on a date and I want to look UP into their eyes, c'mon. I don't think that's too much to ask. OH well, I've only been on there two weeks so there'll be more 6 footers turning up.

I mentioned that I'm not working at that new job anymore. That's because they suck ass and the management, my trainer and I came to a mutual agreement that the place was choking the life out of me and if I stayed there one more second I was either going to lose my mind or someone was getting put through a plate glass window for annoying the fuck out of me. I heard last week that only 2 people are left from the 13 in my training class so I don't feel so bad. At least I'm not the only one who couldn't handle it. I believe the term they used was "dropping like flies".

I am a little worried about bills now but I paid my December rent on time and have two interviews next week and am thinking positive. I can do that now that I am no longer living in the dark hole of evil with the asshole from hell. My home is peaceful still and my worst worry other than a job is getting my daughter to do her homework. Well ..... I guess there was that incident when my car headlight filled up with water and kept blowing out the bulbs but I drilled holes in the bottom of the fucker so that problem got solved in about 3 and a half minutes. I'll buy a new one soon so don't lecture me on my ways of handling shit. I'm doing well.

My confidence is returning and that internet dating site boy kept a stupid smile on my face for over a week and mellowed me out a bit. He talked to me for hours every day and we shared our secrets and biggest fears. We called each other Baby and wrote OXOXOX at the end of our conversations. He doesn't watch chick flicks but rented the Lake House and watched it all by himself because I told him it reminded me of us writing to each other and not being able to meet yet. He made me feel safe to allow myself to be vulnerable with someone. I had forgotten what it was like to think about someone when you go to bed and then again as soon as you wake up. It was a small taste of being in love and I haven't felt like that in a lot of years. I NEVER felt that way about Asshole and that taught me something too. I thought after being with him that I had lost that soft part of me and that I might not get it back. I found out that's not true. It may take dating different guys for a while to find a great guy who fits with me. I know that. But I have hope now that I will fall in love again and for me that is HUGE.

Asshole and the squirrel

Asshole wasn't seeing some NEW chick. He was seeing one of his old chicks. He was seeing this same girl when I met him. He had been with her for almost a year and he dumped her for me. She moved away to California a few years ago and has been back here apparently for the last month and a half. I guess she's really into assholes because the dumbshit is STILL hung up on him. Enough to let herself be used and discarded by him TWICE. He's OK in bed but not THAT good.

They stopped all contact several days ago, though. He decided it was... ahem ... in his best interest to be truthful with me about it and stop seeing her. I have no idea what could have possibly happened that changed his behavior so suddenly........... I guess I'm not so mature after all. Lets just leave it at that. Yeah, I know. And whatever, you weren't there so don't judge.

We're all done with the old place now and he left town this morning so it doesn't matter anymore anyway and now I can move on. It's good that he won't be around here. It gives me lots of space to cool off and try to be normal again. You have no idea how freaking psychotic he makes me. He called while he was driving out of town and wanted to know if we could "try to have a long distance relationship and just stay true to each other because we might have something really special together." I'm rarely speechless but he got me with that one. He makes me think I'm losing my mind because the things he says are so far out there sometimes that I'm sure that I must have missed something.
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About Oscar, my kitty from 2 posts ago, he is doing much better. I think. His wound is almost completely closed up and I can't see any signs that there is anything else to worry about. He was a very good boy about taking his antibiotics and I'm hoping he won't have to ever go through something like that again. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of how painful the whole thing must have been for him so I'll stop talking about it now.
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OH!!!!!! So, my long time friend came over tonight to see my new house and brought her boys with her. (They are ages 13 and 15 and have grown up with my daughter so they are like family) Her youngest was on the couch in front of my huge picture window and the curtains were shut so he couldn't see outside and all of the sudden he asked why it sounded like someone was knocking against the window. I realized Mini was still outside and asked him to open the door and see if it's her wanting in. The door opened and next thing I heard was screaming. By the time I got over there, all 3 kids were freaking out. When he opened the door, Mini came running in with a full grown squirrel in her mouth and had flung it at their feet. It was very dead and almost as big as she is.

She must have been beating the squirrel against the window to get our attention because the front of my house looked like a horror flick. Blood was spattered all over the window. I wonder what the neighbors thought. Maybe the cat across the street that clawed up Oscar will take it as a warning. I wouldn't feel bad at all if Mini got a hold of that little puke and evened things up a bit. She's mommy's little Bad Ass, yes she is, yes she is.

In my cat's defense, no one really knows what happened. That squirrel could have jumped out of a tree and attacked her and the only thing she could do was fight back to defend herself. Squirrels hate cats. They taunt them for fun and torture them with their cruel little head games. Or maybe it had been injured by a car and Mini was just bringing it to us to try to get it some help. That's probably it. She was trying to help the poor thing but it was just too late. I'm sure she feels very bad about the whole situation either way and is very sorry that things turned out the way they did for the little fella.

I actually do have dead squirrel pics because the kids grabbed the camera while I was disposing of the body but blogger won't let me load any photos right now. It's probably for the best.

Ex Asshole

My ex Asshole has been staying the night at some chicks house for the past 3 nights. I still have some things there at our old place and have been stopping by every other day or so to get it and I can tell. I have my ways. You don't stay with someone for over 4 years and not learn shit about them.

We're not officially moved out from there until the 31st. He's supposed to be moving to another city after that. All I have to say about it is that he's a slime just as I've been saying all along and he must have had a slut on standby, which doesn't surprise me. He was begging me to go to dinner with him Friday night and I turned him down so he went elsewhere.

I'd better not show up at my ex home to get a load of stuff and see some toothless, horseface, crack ho on the couch though. That's all I'm saying. I'm not jealous, just a little territorial and besides.. . I warned him about that shit. It's disrespectful and rude. I told him to wait until he got out of town and keep his sick shit the hell away from my life. I don't think that's asking too much. I was tempted to cause some destruction while I was there but I was a good girl and left his belongings in tact. See how I'm learning, growing and maturing from all this peaceful quietness I now have.

Who is proud of me? I didn't even break a CD for piss sake.

Oscar, we love you. Please get better soon

My baby is sick

I was getting ready for bed last night so I could get up early and go to work and noticed that Oscar had a wound on his hip about the side of a quarter. It was deep and leaking fluid so I called the veterinary Emergency Clinic. I got there with him about midnight. I left around 2:00 am after being told that he had an abscess that had ruptured and that I didn't have enough cash for them to treat him. They told me to wait until 6:30 am and take him to another animal clinic in town and they would work with me. So, I took Oscar back home and waited until they opened. I got there and was told that he needed to be treated and it would be $600.00 cash up front. For the second time in just a few hours, I cried and told the lady that I had just move and just started a job and all I had was $101.00 but could make payments for the rest. She turned us away. So, I went down the road to another animal clinic. They also told me it would be $500.00 to $600.00 cash up front. I cried for the 3rd time and explained my situation again. I couldn't imagine how to tell my daughter that her cat was going to die because I didn't have enough money for them to treat him. They talked me into seeing the doctor anyway. I waited for 3 hours with my cat in a carrier before Oscar was seen. After clipping some of the surrounding hair and flushing out the wound, they sent us home with flushing solution, oral antibiotics and instructions and told us to come back for a recheck in 5 days. This wasn't the ideal treatment but it was all that I had the money for.

Apparently, when Oscar got in a tiff with the neighbor cat last week, he was scratched or bitten. It healed over with bacteria in it and formed a huge abscess that ruptured last night and now the infection is trying to get out. Usually, they would put them under anesthesia and clip away dead tissue, clean it all out and keep him for a few days. That's why the cost is so much.

If the antibiotics and home flushing I am doing doesn't work, he will need surgery. It's a big risk.

I also missed half of work today. I called my instructors voice mail and left several messages from midnight last night on so she was aware of the situation but it still can't look good to have an absence in the second week of training. I took pictures in case they don't believe me and have paperwork from all 3 clinics.

This is the way I feel about it. I tried to take him to the Emergency place during the night, then I tried to take him to another place at 6:30. If either one of them would have seen us, I could have made it to work at 9:00 on time. I tried. I really did. And anyone who doesn't think it's important to have their animal treated immediately when it is a life threatening infection has a serious problem with their priorities. He needed to get on antibiotics as soon as possible. So, I'm not going to worry about it. I did the right thing. I know I did, no matter the consequences. Wish us luck and hope the medicine and flushing treatments work, because I don't know what to do if it doesn't.

If anyone has had a similar experience or a veterinary / medical background and has suggestions, I'm all ears.

Damn, has it been that long???

I have been a very bad girl. I have been neglecting my Blogger friends and and fully expect reprimands. Go ahead and spank me hard. Twice.

I have been so busy moving into my new home, leaving my ex and starting a new job....... wait...... did I just say MY EX??? WOW!!!! He's my ex now. What a friggin trip. It's amazing how life can change so drastically in a matter of a few weeks.

I was sitting in my new living room watching Legends of the Fall and they got to the part when the narrator said the bear was sleeping and I thought they could have been talking about me. Anyone who doesn't get what I'm saying needs to watch the movie right now cus then you'll get it and even if you don't, who cares, 'cus Brad Pitt is soooo friggin hot that it'll be worth watching it anyway just to see him.

My new house is so peaceful and quiet and so much a stress free zone. Even though I have lots of unpacking still to do, I still stop a lot and look around me wondering what to do next because it is so different with no constant chaos. My very good friend lives a few blocks away and has been over often to keep me company. Thank G for her. I wouldn't have known what to do with myself otherwise. OK ..... I may have known what to do with myself but that's not really what I'm talking about right now.

Hey, wanna see pics????

OF MY HOUSE???? Gees, quit thinkin dirty.

Here's part of the living room.

This is looking into the kitchen from the living room

The dining room area in the kitchen

The kitchen (including my Oscar kitty on the counter)

The bathroom

Blogger is not letting load any more photos so I guess you don't get to see Jenna or my room and the office this time. I didn't get pics yet of the back yard yet either but maybe I will later. I know, I KNOW ..... I still have a lot of pictures and stuff to hang. Like I said, most of my things are still in boxes but I'm working on it.

I started my training class for work on Monday. It's a total brain strain but I appreciate them making sure I am prepared for when I start work. Get this, they have a machine with free mocha in it. All you can drink. All day every day. You better believe I am flippin flying like the Red Bull guy by the time I'm done at 5:30 each day. I haven't slept in a week. YEEEEE HAHHHH !!! I don't think they knew what they were in for when they hired me.

I'm in a room with 12 other chicks and one little boy. He's 19 and sits next to me. He flirts with me all day. Poor youngin. I wish I wasn't so damn irresistible sometimes. It's gonna break his heart when I have to tell him he's just a boy and I don't go for that. Don't worry, I'll let him down gently. I'm cool like that.

Gotta go for now. I have much more to tell about AH's behavior this last few weeks and about work and the people in my class but I'm way tired and I've run out of alcohol so I'm done for the night. I'll be back soon with more. Love ya all and hope everyone is well. MWAH!!!

I am.....

so glad I am almost done packing. If I had to continue for very much longer sorting and packing things up while drunk Asshole slurs at me and tries to pick fights, I would most likely be receiving my first ever assault charge. I personally think it should be considered self defense if you knock someone out with a box full of crystal goblets because they won't get out of your face and leave you alone while you pack and you've asked them REPEATEDLY to stop. And this is following the earlier behavior of pinching and grabbing at me every time I passed by him while trying to load another box and having him get in my way and try to convince me to go DO IT one last time and not taking HELL THE FUCK NO for an answer.


Shouldn't I be allowed to throw SOMETHING at him? Give me a fucking break, here. This is bullshit. I wanna go back to the days when someone pissed you off and you were allowed to shoot their ass at twenty paces.

I am being a good girl so far though and am holding it together. I just keep reminding myself that in a matter of days, I will be living in my own peaceful home again without him in it and he will be crying and missing my wonderfulness. He will be full of regret with nothing but memories of everything he did to screw things up. I will go back to enjoying life again and will be the smiling, fun loving Sherri that my friends all say they miss. I will sit in front of my fireplace and remind myself of all the things that being with Asshole has taught me over the last four and a half years. Things like, following my instincts about people, never settling, running screaming in the other direction at the first sign of stupidity and never letting someone into my world who is damaging to my self esteem and happiness. It feels good to think that all this has at least taught me some things. It also feels good to picture his face on my heavy bag that's hanging in the shop and kickbox the living hell out of it.